From pickles to sunsets
by loser in the gutter
Summary: RoyEd full of angst, humor, sadness, romance, and random stuff inspired by my life. named after the first fic and last fic. rated for language and situations.
1. pickles!

Just a cute little one shot. I got this idea when I went out to lunch one day with my mom. She took me to a liquor store deli. Mm, mmm, good? Well…

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"NO DAMMIT!" Ed was getting louder and louder. "I don't want pickles! They're just marinated cucumbers! That is soooo gross. Sitting in a jar, in juice, in heat? What the Hell is up with that?" Roy sighed. This is what he got for trying to get the teen to eat a nice sandwich.

"Come on, Ed" Roy mused. "Just say it nicely and let's go. Hawkeye will kill us both if we're late. Again." Ed turned around. His hair was in his cute little braid, and he had his signature smile on. "Aww, come on, Roy," whined the little alchemist. "All I did was say no pickles." Ed's smile got even bigger (if possible) as the colonel started walking towards him.

"Okay, Ed," Roy said sternly. "If you're going to be like that," Roy smiled and leaned down.

"AHHH!" Ed practically giggled as Roy picked him off the ground.

"If you're going to be like that, you shouldn't mind everyone in Central watching as I carry you and your sub into the office"

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Once about a block from the Togo's, deli, Subway, (eat fresh!), whatever, Ed decided he wanted to have some fun.

"ROY!" Ed shouted at the top of his lungs.

"Dammit, full metal! I'm right here you know. Yeah, the thing holding you. And don't talk with your mouth full. It's not polite." Ed stuck his tongue out at the older man and swallowed.

"I wanna go the park!" Roy raised an eyebrow. "Pleeeeaaaassseeee, Roy? PLEASE?" Roy sighed. He would never get to his office today. He also hated when the boy asked like that. With those big, golden eyes, and that adorable little smile…

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A/N

Ok. I have decided to make this a big honkin' series of nonsence! That, and I'm too lazy to say what happens at the park. Review and get hugs!


	2. park and brush

Yay for more! And PLEASE, in ur reviews, leave suggestions. Or else I shall make some of these songfics… which is actually good now that I think about it… o well. r/r please

Oh, and sadly the cuties in fma aren't mine…if they were… ooo….

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"That's pathetic, Roy." Ed teased as he went higher into the air.

"The swing can only go so high, Ed. Besides, maybe if you weren't so heavy…"

"AND MAYBE IF YOU WEREN'T A FUCKING JACKASS I WOULD GO HIGHER! NOW PUSH!" Ed really wanted to go higher. He was just having a 'be a kid' days. Roy hated these days. Where everything had to be perfect, or fun. Oh well. He loved Ed, and that was all that mattered.

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Roy looked over to the worn out teen in the passenger seat. _'Today was a big day for him._' Roy sarcastically thought to himself. It hadn't really been that big; lunch, to the park, then a movie and dinner. Okay, so maybe it was kind of a lot, considering that they both had been up all night.

**FLASHBACK TIME!**

Roy was sitting in his office doing paperwork. Yeah, right. No, he was standing behind Ed, fixing his hair.

"OW! Dammit Roy, I thought you said you were brushing my hair, not ripping it all out!"

Roy chuckled a bit. "Well how else am I supposed to get the knots out? Besides, they're almost all out, so stop whining."

"I am not fucking OW!"

"All though I'm not happy with that last TRUE thing you just said, I am pleased to announce that your hair is brushed and braided. Now what do I get?" Roy had the biggest smirky-grin on his face.

Ed turned around and rolled his eyes at him. "I don't know, how about…" Ed leaned up and pulled the older man into a deep kiss. He wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him down so he wasn't on his toes as much. Roy smiled in the kiss and licked the boy's lips. Ed automatically opened his mouth for Roy, who explored each tooth and each bit of tongue very carefully with his own. Roy brought his hands from the boy's face down to his back and lower areas. This made Ed smile.

Roy was always one to rush in with relationships, but Ed made him slow down and enjoy the first bits. So in other words, Ed hadn't let Roy get to third base with him. But Roy could wait.

The two alchemists broke the heated kiss and Ed rested his head on the black haired man's chest. Roy wrapped his arms around him.

"Okay," he said quietly to Ed's head and kissed it. "We're even."

DONE WITH THE FLASHBACK!

Roy sighed as he pulled into the driveway. It was going to suck to try and bring the boy inside.

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Eeeee! Believe it or not that took me a long time to write. But it came out nice, right? Anyway, PLEASE give me a suggestion! I would LOVE one.

Until next time,

Author.

Haha.

Review!

Happy writers update sooner!

hugs


	3. top troubles

YAY! I got a suggestion! Big woop to wolf dance!

And to those who have reviewed, thankies!

And sorry this took so long. I'm grounded. And high school sucks. And my friend just told me he's gay… (love sees no gender) so I've got a load on my mind. But I just got a MAJOR good idea… and a suggestion. So maybe two chapters? OMG!

And these are now random. Yay for random-ness!

Oh, and sadly the cuties in fma aren't mine…if they were… watch out….

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**THE PARK 2. AKA, TOP TROUBLES.**

"PPPLLLLEEEAAASSSEEE ROOOOOYYY!"

"No."

"AWWWW! PLEEEEAAASSSE?"

"NO."

"PPLLLLEEEA"

"FINE!"

Roy and Ed got in the car for the third time that day. Why? To go to the freakin' park. AGAIN.

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"Come on, Roy," Ed had his hair in a ponytail. Roy had said that if they went to the park he would have to. Ed didn't care. He just wanted to do one thing at the park anyway. "It's not _that_ high up." He had the most adorable grin on his face. That was probably the only reason Roy had agreed to come. The darkest of days could be brightened by that smile.

"Well if I didn't have to sit all day I would be as fit as you, wouldn't I?" Roy was breathing hard. Of course, he _was_ tired, and it actually _was_ a _very _long walk up the stairs. '_Why the hell did they have to build such big fucking slides here?'_ thought Roy as he panted to the top.

When Roy finally got to the top, Ed was leaning up against the post.

"About time, Mustang. Man, I though I was gonna have to come and get you."

"Aww, that's sweet, Ed." Ed blushed. "But I'm here, so… why the hell am I all the way up here again?"

Ed laughed. "All that exercise just zapped ya, didn't it." Ed sighed. "Okay, we're gonna go down. Now these are really good slides. They are glossy, and don't stick to you. So sometimes they make you go fast. So when I go, I want you to watch to see… what?"

Roy had a sad puppy look on his face. "We can't go down together?"

Ed smiled. "Well," he turned to face the slides, away from Roy. "I guess we could go train style, but if you HOLY CRAP!" Ed was suddenly being lifted from behind. Then he was put onto the slide, with Roy sitting behind him.

"You could've just said lets get on," Ed said as he smiled while looking at the view.

"But you're so cute when you freak out. And I was getting bored of your lecture."

"Hey! I'm not the one who took 5 minutes just to climb some damn stairs!"

"So we're off then? Thought so." Roy pushed off and the two went down the slide, leaving all their troubles at the top.

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Yay! Yes, very fluffy. Tried to make it that way, so boo you if u didn't like it!

Thanks again to wolf dancer for the ozzum idea!

Ideas are still VERY WELCOME!

I'll leave you to your reviewing now.

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Eeeee! Believe it or not that took me a long time to write. But it came out nice, right? Anyway, PLEASE give me a suggestion! I would LOVE one.

Until next time,

Author.

Haha.

Review!

Happy writers update sooner!

hugs


	4. kiss me, dammit

I bet you're pretty happy with me. 2 new chapters in one day! OMG!

**Ed: Gosh, what a loser**.

Me: HEY! Be nice to me!

**Ed: why the hell would I be nice to a loser?**

Me: because in this drabble…

**Ed: eyes widen no…**

Me: oooh yeah. YOU AND ROY

**ED: NOOOO! wider eyes**

ME: I was just gonna say remember ur first kiss.

**Ed: sigh oh my gosh. thank god.**

Me: I thought u didn't believe in God.

**Ed: I don't. Whatever. Type the damn story already.**

Me: hehe.

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**KISS ME, DAMMIT**

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Roy was thinking again. Of what, you ask? Well, of his and Ed's first kiss of course! (aww!)

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Edward's march could be heard throughout the building. Which meant he was not exactly pleased.

"MUSTANG!" Ed yelled as he neared Roy's office.

"Now, Edward I don't think that you should be so mad at the colonel," Riza cut in. "What is wrong anyway?"

"That bastard gave me a fake lead again!" Ed was getting even closer to Roy's door. "What the hell was in Xengik **_(1)_** anyway? HONESTLY! God, that ass of a colonel has such a god complex! AHH!"

"Edward!" Hawkeye tried to stop him, but the teen was already in the colonel' office. _'I wonder what_ _happened _this_ time._' She thought to herself.

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Roy thought he was actually going to finish his paperwork today. But thanks to a small, teenage, and VERY angry alchemist, that goal would have to be accomplished some other time. Roy sighed as he heard his name being called. '_Why do you put me through this, Ed?_' he thought to himself. He smiled as he heard Riza defending him. '_Now don't be too hard on him, Hawkeye._' He smirked. He heard Edward say "bastard" and "fake lead" and "Xengik", and Roy pushed his papers aside. The blonde would come into the room in 5,4,3,2…

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"WHAT THE HELL WAS WITH THAT LEAD, MUSTANG!" Edward was so predictable.

"I thought it was about a man using the stone, Elric." Roy said with a smirk. He had his hands folded under his chin and he was sitting at his desk. "Was it not so?"

"No, dammit! It was some old man who couldn't do alchemy, so he frickin' hired people to and ARRG!" Ed flopped down onto the couch. Then he suddenly stood up and went over to Roy's desk, as if he had forgotten something. He reached in his pocket and pulled out a VERY thin report.

"A brochure, Full metal?"

"My damn report, bastard Flame."

Roy flipped through the pages rather quickly.

"Come here, Ed." _Ed. He called me Ed_. Ed stood up and went to the side of Mustang's desk. Roy stood.

Ed had never seen such deep eyes. And so dark, so full of pain, yet, happy.

Roy noticed the boy staring at his eyes. He took this as a "now or never" signal.

Lips are soft and smooth, apparently. Or at least, Edward's were. Roy couldn't believe he was kissing Edward Elric. He was even more astonished that he was returning the kiss. Roy licked Ed's bottom lip and Ed open for the man.

After finally caving to the will of their lungs, the alchemists parted their lips. Ed lied his head on Roy's chest, breathing heavily.

"Bastard. Stole my first."

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Roy smiled. He was almost done with his paperwork. But then he heard Ed's footsteps…

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(1) Just made up a city. Fun.

YAY! Random-ness is very fun.

So what did u think? It took me a while so I hope u liked it!

**Ed: I liked it**

Me: really? Yay!

**Ed: and ur STILL a loser? Wow**.

ME: hey! would a loser get great reviews?

**Ed: apparently not… u have like 3**

Me: well.. PEOPLE PLEASE PROVE ED WRONG AND REVIEW!

**Ed: shit now she's crying… Dammit**


	5. again

Ed snuggled up to the being next to him. He was hot and sweaty, but that didn't matter.

Roy smiled as he kissed the top of Ed's head. The boy looked up, and their eyes met.

"Again?" Ed said. His voice was filled with hope.

"Aww," Roy rolled his eyes. "Can't you wait just a minute, Ed? I need to catch my breath." Ed sighed and yawned. "See, even you're tired"

"I don't get tired." Ed retorted with a smirk. "I use up all of my stored energy."

"That's tired, hun." Roy smiled. Ed was always arguing about definitions.

"No its not. And I'm not. Shut up. So," Ed smiled. "You wanna go again?"

"I told you, Ed. I'm tired. You might not be, but I am."

"Old man." Ed whispered under his breath. "HEY!"

Ed was suddenly lifted and off of his boyfriends lap.

"I think we should go home now," Roy said while standing up. He helped Ed get up too. "It's getting late."

"It's four. But fine. But first can we go again?"

"No. I cant. Besides, you already beat me. Why again?"

"Because I can. PLEASE?"

"No, lets spar some other time."

"Fine. But I get to choose what we eat tonight."

"Okay with me."

The couple then left the park and went out for Chinese food.


	6. he's mine

Vic has inspired me. Woo. Oh, and in this, Riza sounds like a little bitchy OOC, but that's okay sometimes. Haha.

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Ed had been waiting for Roy and Riza to finish their meeting for almost an hour. And he didn't like to wait. He leaned close to the door so he could hear what they were saying.

"And why not?" said the female voice. It was most likely Hawkeye.

"It's not right!" that was definitely Roy's voice.

"But it's love!"

"It's not alright to love a subordinate!"

"But what about a promotion, then-"

"No, refuse to date anyone in the military."

"Please, Roy! I need this from you! I love-"

"I know Riza, and I love-"

"I don't care! _We_ need to be together!"

"You can be! Just… I don't know. Fine. Just don't tell anyone. Got it?"

"Yes sir!"

"Now about this, my love,"

Ed kicked down the door and screamed, "BACK OFF RIZA, HE'S MINE!"

Riza and the rest of the unit, save for Roy, bursted into laughter.

"What the hell's so funny, bastards?"

Riza walked up to Ed, trying to cover up her laugh. "We, rather, I wasn't hitting on Roy, Ed." Her smile widened. "I was talking about my boyfriend, and Roy, was talking about you."

No one had ever seen a redder color on the blondes face.


	7. picture this

Eee! I got reviews! Woo. So I saw the cutest picture of Roy and Ed, and just had to make a chapter out of it. Yeah, yeah, I know I should be working on my other stories. But I really wanted to put this in here. Plus, school's being killer and I hate it. Oh, and in this one, Roy's the fuhrer. Woo. So off we go with Maes Hughes…

Hughes crept down the street. He passed the stoplight, and turned at the corner. He checked to make sure he had plenty of film. He (obviously) did. He kept walking down the street until he came to the large house at the end. Hughes smiled and took out his keys.

As the door creaked opened, a large smile crept upon the man's face. No one was downstairs, which meant they were still upstairs… possibly in bed. Maes' smiled widened as he closed the door and got out his camera. He started up the stairs.

When he reached the top, he heard someone mumbling. '_Oh I bet it's them!_' thought Maes excitedly. He kept that same goofy smile on as he turned the doorknob.

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Roy's eyes fluttered open as he heard someone coming up the stairs. '_What the hell?_' the dark haired man thought to himself. '_Who could be visiting at this hour… on a SATURDAY?'_ He smiled though as he heard Ed mumble in his sleep, "We can't get it, Roy. It's disgustingly white vile… no I don't want a pie…not small…teacup…"

However, Roy's smile slowly slipped off of his face as he watched the doorknob turn. _'Dammit. I thought I locked the fucking door._' He tried to get Ed off of him, but ended up putting his hand down the young alchemist's pants, touching his ass. Roy blushed and Ed smiled in his sleep. Roy sighed, deciding that whoever was opening the door better have a damn good reason.

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As soon as the door was totally open, Hughes tip-toed inside the room, only to see Roy with his eyes open.

"So I guess you have a reason for coming into my house, Maes?" Roy asked, not bothering to move his hand from Ed's pants.

The other man blushed and smiled nervously. "Well," he rubbed the back of his neck in his nervous/embarrassed state. "Everyone doubted the fact that you and Ed are together. So I thought, 'Hey! Why not prove it by photography!' So here I am."

Roy smiled. "Well did you?"

"Did I what? Prove it to them?"

"No, did you take the picture yet?"

"Well, no. You woke up."

"Just take the picture, Maes."

**CLICK! FLASH! CLICK! FLASH! CLICK! FLASH! CLICK! FLASH!**

"You're so photogenic, Ed!"

"And I'm not?" protested Roy, doing a little pouty face.

"Shh! I'm on a job!" Hughes got in a different spot. "Yes! Perfect! Great! Superb!"

Maes got off of the chair he was leaning on and stood next to Roy and Ed, who was still asleep. He put his camera back into the case and went out of the room. That was the last Roy ever saw of his friend.

(A/n: just kidding. It's just the last time he saw him that weekend. Now off to Monday!)

As Roy entered the building, about a million and twelve giggling girls waved at him. He waved back like he usually did, but couldn't help but think about why they were giggling **_that_** much. Roy sighed and let it go; he had a lot of paperwork to do.

Roy turned the doorknob off his office and stepped inside. He smiled as he saw Ed on the couch, looking at something in his hands. Ed's face was all scrunched up in thought and his head was slightly tilted, like a puppy would do. Roy closed the door and Ed glanced up. Roy smiled at him, but got a glare back.

"What?" Roy asked. Usually he had pointed out his height issue before he received a glare from the teen.

"You… you…" Ed was almost at a loss of words. He stood up and walked up to Roy, still holding the square object. "You let him in? You know how he is with pictures."

It was Roy's turn to make the scrunched up thinking face. "What?" Roy received a light snack to the back of his head and a large 1' by 1 ½' picture frame was handed to him.

"Why the hell did you let him in? You know, these are all over Central. Man, this sucks. I don't care if you _are_ the fucking fuhrer. I want them down!" Ed went into a long rant about this while Roy held in his laughter at the picture.

It was one of the first ones that Maes had taken. The lighting was just right; it made Ed look like an angel. Roy smiled as he looked at the rest of his picture. '_Shit._' Was the only word that came to his mind when he saw what the picture was _really_ of.

In the photo, Roy was smiling. And Ed? Well, Ed was on top of him, happily asleep. Roy's hand was in the blonde's pants, touching his ass. No wonder Roy was smiling.

As Roy sat the picture down on his desk, Ed was just finishing his little rant.

"So if he does one more time, I will rip off his legs, stick them on his head, and take picture of him! Ha. HOLY CRA-"

Ed was cut off by Roy scooping him into a hug and placing a loving kiss onto his lips. Ed closed his eyes to enjoy the moment. He wrapped his arms around Roy and played with his short, thick hair. Roy smiled in the kiss and undid the younger one's hair. Then **CLICK! FLASH!**

No one had ever seen Maes Hughes run faster out of that office.


	8. pancakes taste better

The last chapter I did was with a picture I see in almost every RoyEd AMV. Uh, its just Roy awake with his hands down Ed's pants, who is still asleep with a smile on his face. I just thought I'd say how it was taken.

But for this chapter… I think I shall just make it TOTALLY random. And short, but that means I shall update tomorrow!

**WARNING**: Serious random-ness and yaoi (gay) relationships occur here. If you don't like, what the fuck are you still doing here?

"I really don't think we should get them." Ed's face was scrunched up in disgust.

"Oh, come on, Ed," Roy wrapped his arms around the little blonde. "It won't hurt!"

Ed struggled to get out of the man's grasp. He finally gave up and snuggled with him, not caring who was watching.

"You know," the older alchemist went on. "Pancakes taste _much_ better with chocolate."

Ed looked into the deep, onyx colored eyes. "But I want _blueberries_."

Roy sighed. "Chocolate is soooo much better, though."

"Is not. It's just sugar, coloring, cocoa beans-"

"I don't need to hear the rest, Ed."

"Why? Are you disgusted by the gross-ness of your favorite dessert?" Roy couldn't see it, but the little blonde was smirking.

"No." Roy said in a stern voice and let go of Ed. Ed gave a little "humph" and picked up the bag.

"We need nail clippers." The teen said, breaking the awkward silence.

"And a ruler. I need to work on my art project."

"So let's go get some then. I want to get cotton candy."

The two crossed the street and looked at the store. The name? "All In One Place". They walked closer and looked at all of the signs on the windows.

"Fuck." Ed said, reading one.

"Dammit." Roy said, reading another.

The store was closed.


	9. love notes

That last chapter was just me being WAY out of it, so that's why it's so weird. Anyway, just enjoy it, and remember that I love reviewers!

Ps, I ALWAYS go to people's profiles if they review me. If that makes you want to review more, then my evil plan is working! --Evil laugh--

**WARNING**: Serious yaoi (gay) relationships occur here. If you don't like, what the fuck are you still doing here?

Ed smiled and yawned as he opened his eyes. He found a note on the pillow next to him, instead of the dark haired man.

_I love the way you smile. It makes a dark room bright._

He smiled and got out of bed, realizing another note was posted on the wall.

_I love the way you read. It makes me want to pick up one too, just to be near you._

He kept following the notes that were posted on the wall.

_I love the way you laugh. It brings joy on the saddest of days._

He blushed and walked down the hall to the next yellow paper.

_I love the way you yell. It makes every day full of humorous joy._

Ed pushed his bangs out of his line of sight and smiled. He grabbed the note and went to the next.

_I love the way you look at me. It makes me go weak in the knees._

The more Ed read, the more his smile grew.

_I love the way your hair is. It fits your personality perfectly; cute and untamable._

Ed almost laughed at this one. Untamable.

_I love the way you sleep. It makes me never want to get out of bed._

More red came onto the blonde's face and he went to the next note.

_I love the noises you make when we make love. It makes me wonder if I can live without them._

Ed was now fully embarrassed, and was very glad that Al wasn't there.

_I love the way you mumble in your sleep. It makes you look so cute._

So original. But still, it was sweet, and Ed's eyes were beginning to water.

_I love the way you speak to me. It makes me want to listen._

How thoughtful. Ed wiped the happy tears from his eyes and walked down the stairs, following the notes.

_I love the way you're so protective. It makes me feel safe, for you and me._

'Protective? Yeah, I guess, but only of Al.' Ed stepped off the last step into a dark room lit with candles. He found a bunch of candles near him with a yellow paper.

_I love you. You make my world whole._

Ed was now fiercely wiping away tears.

"I love the way that you are." A voice from behind him said. Ed turned around.

"Roy?"

"It makes me want to ask you."

He got on one knee in front of Edward and held out a little, black, velvet box. He opened it, revealing a silver band with little red stones in it.

"Oh, Roy."

Ed put his hands over his mouth and dropped all the little papers in his hands.

"I love you, Edward Elric. Will you marry me?"

Ed let the tears flow and nodded his head violently.

"Roy, of course. Yes, Roy. Oh, Roy, yes!"

Roy slipped the band around the 18 year old's finger and got up. He landed a passionate kiss on the blonde and smiled when they broke. He picked up Ed bridal style and proceeded to go up the stairs.

"I'm glad you're not a morning person. I didn't have to wake up early."

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Cute, eh?

So do you have any ideas for anther one shot? If so, please tell me.

Oh, and if you want to be in my story, please leave your future characters name, age, and interaction with Roy and Ed.

So what are you waiting for? Review!


	10. Smoothie fun

**WARNING**: Serious random-ness and yaoi (gay) relationships occur here. If you don't like, what the fuck are you still doing here?

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_I think Roy would want strawberry. But then again, he would also like blueberry. DAMMIT. Too many damn choices._

Ed peeked over the counter to get a better look at all the flavors.

_Well, I want strawberry. So I guess he'll just have to be happy with blueberry. _

Ed cleared his throat and a young lady came over. "Welcome to Rosie's Rollercoaster Smoothies. What kind of ride of a drink can I serve you?" She didn't have that much enthusiasm, but that was okay.

"One medium, NOT SMALL, MEDIUM strawberry smoothie and one…"

_Dammit. What flavor?!?!? _

"And one… uh… RASPBERRY!" Ed grinned.

Roy always was a little sour.


	11. THEM

Yah these are short, but damn cute, no?

**WARNING**: Serious random-ness and yaoi (gay) relationships occur here. If you don't like, what the fuck are you still doing here?

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"DAMMIT ED!" Roy Mustang's voice echoed throughout the halls of the building. And everyone heard, well, save for a little blondie by the name of Edward Elric.

No, little Ed was long gone into dreamland. And he had good reason, too. He had just come back from a mission, and had not slept for almost 3 days straight. So why the hell did Mustang need him?

"EDWARD ELRIC WHERE THE HELL DID YOU PUT THEM?"

Ed shifted in his spot on the ground. He was currently in a very nice dream.

"DAMMIT ED!"

By this time, Ed was fully awakened.

"WHERE ARE THEY, ED???"

Ed looked over the mountain of books. There stood his lover, hair messy, shirt dirty, and eyes glazed over.

"Where'd I put what, Roy?" Ed asked innocently.

"The damn spoons! I can't make my coffee without spoons!"

Ed bursted into laughter. Roy didn't have pants on.

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Yes that was random. Oh well!


	12. sheep

Yah these are short, but damn cute, no?

**WARNING**: Serious random-ness and yaoi (gay) relationships occur here. If you don't like, what the fuck are you still doing here?

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"I can't sleep."

"Just close your eyes."

"That doesn't work, dumbass."

"Then try counting sheep."

-Cricket cricket-

"One sheep, two sheep, three sheep, four she-"

"Never mind that way."

"Then how can I go to sleep?"

"By working all day, like me."

"I'm not the fuhrer."

"So?"

"So… go to sleep. You're keeping me up."


	13. Driver Ed

Yah these are short, but damn cute, no?

**WARNING**: Serious random-ness and yaoi (gay) relationships occur here. If you don't like, what the fuck are you still doing here?

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"Just gently push it, GENTLY EDWARD! Good. Now put your hands here, NO! NOT THERE! Yes, now grab, EDWARD ELRIC! WHAT THE HELL!"

Roy Mustang's voice was heard all over Central. There wasn't a person in the whole place who wasn't freaked out of their mind. Also, there were a few people running from the roads. And of course, running from the areas _near_ the roads.

"DAMMIT! The fucking thing won't fucking do anything!" Ed's voice was almost as loud as the older alchemist's. "BASTARD! What the Hell do I do now!"

Ed was screaming at the tops of his lungs.

"AHHHH!" and "Fuck! A damn tree!" and "DAMMIT! WHAT THE FUCK?" were all heard quite often from the little blonde.

Now why was this all happening? Because Roy Mustang was teaching our dear little Edward Elric how to drive.

Ed's hands were gripping the wheel tighter than a fan-girl at a "Let's all grab Vic" convention. And Ed's feet kept going rapidly from the brake to the gas.

"The damn gas won't go, Mustang!"

"That's the fucking brake, Ed."

"It SHOULD be the GAS pedal!"

"Well it's not. Now, GO!"

Ed pushed down on the REAL gas pedal.

"FUCK! LOOK OUT FOR THE TR-! DAMMIT ED! YOU ALMOST HIT THAT T- OH FOR PETE'S SAKE!"

"IT'S FUCKING POSSESED! I CAN'T MAKE THE DAMN THING WORK!"

"GAS pedal, Full Metal. GAS!"

No one had ever seen trees move out of the way until that day, the day when Ed Elric learned to drive.


	14. suicide part 1

Alright, Dolly is MAJORLY pissed, for she has to go away for the weekend. So she shall try to update as many stories as she can, that way y'all don't freak out on her. So if they're short, get over it, it's an update. At any rate, here's a fun little drabble.

Ps, all facts about suicide in this fic are **TRUE**.

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"So how many of you know the 3rd leading cause of death for people ages 15-24?" the woman giving the presentation had a too small shirt that kept going up. She had to pull it down every time she spoke. "No one? Well, it's suicide. Yes, it's a sad thing, that people feel this way…"

Roy's mind wasn't exactly on the mandatory lecture. He was just waiting for it to be over so that he could go see Ed, who was just a leisurely walk across the building in his dorm. AND, Alphonse was currently visiting Winry, so it was perfect. But then there had to be a damn suicide lecture. Roy yawned.

"People tend to isolate themselves before they commit suicide. But before I go any further, I want you all to watch the clock for a moment." The room was silent, save for the ticking of the clock. "Every minute, there is an attempted suicide. And every 17 minutes, someone successes."

'_Yay_.' thought Roy. '_Only 12 minutes until I get out of here.'_

"I can't tell you how hard it is to stop someone from killing themselves. My friend, at age 14, tried to kill herself six times. I was in the room the 6th time. I barely saved her because I didn't know what to do. But," she erased the warning signs off the board and wrote 'what to do' on it. "You might be able to."

Roy's chin rested on his hand as he tried to keep his eyes open. Hawkeye poked him from behind. He looked back to see papers filled with notes on the lecture. _'Teacher's pet._'

"Just listen." The woman continued. "All anyone wants in that situation is to know someone cares. Don't fake it either, genuinely show them. Respond to them, look them in the eye, and pay attention; show them that you care. Now then," she reached in her bag. "Who wants an 'I'm glad to be alive' sticker?"

Once out of the horrible room, Roy slipped past Hawkeye and her gun all the way to Ed's dorm room. He smiled and fixed his hair. Suddenly, he heard a small cry of sadness from inside. It was more like a whimper, or a sob. In any case, Roy didn't bother to knock, he just opened the door.

Ed was on his bed, his hair undone and in his face. His room was wrecked, and the telephone was near the wall, obviously thrown. Roy's heart broke when he saw the blood on the blonde's bed.

"Ed?" he whispered. Golden locks of hair flung up and even more golden eyes stared at his onyx ones. Edward's breathing was heavy and he seemed sad, but also very angry. "Edward, what… what happened?"

The bed creaked slightly as the blonde got off. He walked right up to the colonel. "They did."

"What?" Roy was quite confused. "Who did what, Edward?"

"They did it." Ed was practically speaking in riddles.

"Dammit, Ed! Who's they?" Roy put a hand on the younger's shoulder, only to have him shrug it off.

"They are." Roy finally got a true look in the blonde's eyes. They were pink and gold, showing that he had been crying. "They… told me to." Ed backed up and pointed to the phone. "The ones in there. They said if I did, you'd… that you'd…"

"I'd what, Ed?" Roy was getting worried.

"They called and said that you might go. I asked why, they said… they said that you'd go if I was alive, Roy. I… need… Roy they want me to…"

Roy didn't care how much the blonde didn't want him right now, but he went up and hugged him with all the love that a hug can give. The blonde started to cry again.

"It's true, Roy!" he shouted through the tears. "I'm gone!"

No one had ever thought the blonde would die by suicide. But then again, he didn't.

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Cliffhanger!!! Yes, this is now a 3 chapter thing I shall continue for the next 3 chapters. Well, including this one… so the next two. But only if I get reviews! –rushes off to next story--


	15. a halloween intermission

**INTERMISSION! (Woo!)**

**I wanted to give a Halloween story, but I was writing that other one… so here's a Halloween story for my drabble. Happy Halloween, lovies!**

**XxxxxxxxxXXXXxXxxxxxxxxxXXXXxxxxxxX **

"You really do look nice tonight, Ed."

"Shut up. I can't believe I'm going out in public like this."

"But you look so sexy."

Ed blushed at the comment. The two were walking down the street to where Havoc was throwing a Halloween party. Ed had to pull his costume down sometimes, but Roy grabbed his hand as they walked. Though Edward glared at the man, Roy could tell the teen was just nervous. It was their first party together as a couple.

"I may look… _nice_," Ed was too modest to say 'sexy'. "But I could have at least gotten a coat. It's fucking freezing tonight!"

Roy put his arm around the blonde, making him warm. "Better?" he asked with a smirk.

"Yeah, whatever, bastard." Ed leaned on Roy as they approached the building with blasting music.

A few people were sitting on the porch, sipping plastic cups. They laughed when a blue haired man told a lame joke. They were totally smashed.

"Roy?" Ed looked up to the man with '_nervous teen'_ written all over his face.

"Don't worry, Ed. You look great, you're gonna have a great time, and… you're with the hottest guy here!" Ed play punched the older man, and then grabbed his hand.

"I'm not nervous. I just don't want people to laugh at me… or us. You know, the fact that we're… together."

Roy sighed. Ed had just described nervousness. "They won't laugh. And even if they do, WHICH I DOUBT THEY WILL, I can just flame 'em." He smiled. They stopped at the door and looked at each other. "I won't let anything bad happen, Ed."

The man rang the doorbell, but the music was so loud that no one inside heard it.

"Uh, why don't we just go in?" suggested the blonde. He pulled down his costume.

"Sounds good. I mean, Jean knew we were coming… so… yeah, let's go in." He tightened his grip on the teen's hand and walked in.

Vampires, fairies, crayons, zombies, beauty queens, cats, skeletons… it was like Halloween exploded inside of the house. Roy smiled and led Ed to an area of the house where not a lot of people were. Once more, Ed pulled on his costume.

"Don't mess with it," Roy said sternly. "It'll just keep going up."

"Easy for you to say, Colonel." Ed sighed and plopped down on the couch, and then quickly crossed his legs. "Why did I let you talk me into this?"

Roy sat next to his boyfriend and smiled. "Because I said I thought it was cute on you." Ed blushed and played with his bangs a bit.

"Yo, Mustang!" A voice of a drunken Jean Havoc made its way over to the couple. Roy grimaced and looked at Ed, who had a smirk on his face, obviously waiting for the Fuhrer's reply.

"Hey there, Major Havoc," Roy said as the older blonde came to the couch.

"I'm glad you could make it, (hiccup) Fuhrer! I'm sure that (hiccup) there's lots of girls who'd love to (hiccup) dance with you!"

"No, Havoc." Roy cut in. He looked to Ed, who looked like he was about to rip the legs off of Jean. Roy cleared his throat. "I don't think I'll be with a lady tonight." He saw Ed smile out of the corner of his eye.

"Aww, and here I (hiccup) thought you were the great womanizer (hiccup) of Central!"

Once again Ed glared at the man. "He was. As in _past_ tense, _no_ longer, and hopefully _never_ again. Now shut up and let us get back to our fucking date!"

Havoc's eyes grew wide, and Roy just sighed and pulled Ed onto his lap, who's tail was stuck in the cushion, which was getting wet from some bitch who was spilling her coke, which was most likely spiked, and that was not good.

Yes, it was all very, VERY confusing.

A simpler version is that Roy sighed at Ed's remark and pulled the teen on to this lap, and Havoc's eyes grew wide in shock. Some random bitch was spilling her spiked coke on the cushion that Ed's tail was stuck under. So that was NOT good.

"Dammit!" Ed jumped off Roy (that sounds DIRTY) and grabbed his poor, innocent tail. "Damn! The fucking tail's wet, and this crappy party is shitty, and I can't believe you're just laughing at me, Roy!"

By then, everyone in the whole building was listening to Ed. Too much swearing can get you into trouble. Even the music was quieter. Roy stood up and took the dripping tail out of the blonde's hands. He squeezed the drink out of it, and it was almost completely dry. Ed smiled and got the tail back, only to receive, instead, a passionate kiss from Mr. Roy Mustang.

Whistles were blown by onlookers, and giggles, and gasps. No one would have guessed that the Full Metal Alchemist would dress up like a slutty cat, let alone let Roy Mustang, a vampire king, kiss him like that.

Halloween is definitely my favorite holiday.


	16. suicide part 2

**Alright, Dolly is still pissed, so here's the fucking chapter, dammit. It's very angsty, but that's okay, right? Here goes. And remember, this is just a random drabble I make up in my spare time. And no, it doesn't relate to the rest of the story, which is normally humor. **

**Ps, all facts about suicide in this fic are TRUE. (Facts being the key word)**

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It was a trick of the mind, a simple hypnotizing trick that some one had played on Ed. To tell him to kill himself, that Roy would leave him otherwise, was just plain cruel. But then, Ed had done it to himself. It wasn't abnormal for teens to cut themselves, but to be perfectly happy one day, and suicidal the next? No, it usually had to do with some sort of loss, or stress. But Ed was a different story. He _had_ losses. He _had _stress. He just never let it get to him.

So it was a strange sight to see Roy Mustang carrying Edward Elric that warm afternoon. The man had a dark look in his eyes, and the boy was muttering about being gone. He was obviously there _physically_, but mentally he was as good as dead.

People knew about the strange relationship between the two males, but never thought they would last as long as they were. 3 years it had been, since Ed was 16, it was on his birthday when the two had become a couple. 'Cute' some had called it, while others stated, 'It won't last long'. But it _had_ lasted long, the years had proven so. And yet, there was Edward Elric, Hero of the People, trying to kill himself.

People say that it rains when death comes. It was a perfectly sunny day when Ed tried to die. Now, it wasn't that he wanted to die, but to loose anything more than he already had would hurt him more. Al was gone with Winry. The military just treated him like a nobody. The only one that ever called was Roy. The man seemed to be his life-line; the thing that kept him living. Ed never cared about loss before, so why now?

That was all that Roy could think about as he watched his boyfriend lay limp on the white sheets. Bandages covered his arms, and the radio on the table played a soft hum. Why the boy had done this, he would never know. All that he knew was what Ed had told him those few minutes before he passed out.

**FLASHBACK! (WOOOO)**

"_What the hell are you talking about, Ed?" Roy leaned down to when his lover was lying. "You're right here! You're not gone."_

_Ed laughed and put a confused and worried look on Roy's face. Blood seeped through the wrists of the blonde that were hidden behind his back. "Isn't it weird that I just got my limbs back, Roy?" he laughed again. Roy was getting scared. "Then poof! They're gone too!" Ed sounded like a mad man. _

"_Ed?" Roy was worried beyond belief. "Why did you say you were gone?"_

_Now tears fell from the young face. "You're gonna leave me anyway, aren't you!" Ed turned down and screamed into his pillow. Roy still didn't know where the blood on the blood had come from. _

_Roy hesitated a bit, and then put a hand on the teen's back to comfort him. "Shh," he said calmly. "I'm not going anywhere, and neither are you. Shh." _

_Blood came from beneath the pillow. Its crimson path went from where Ed's hands were hiding to the end of the bed, where it slowly dipped off. A rush of panic swept over Roy._

"_Edward Elric, you didn't…did you?" Roy put a hand on the blonde's hair. It was a mess; full of tangles and it was almost completely out of its braid. A shudder ran up Roy's spine as Ed slowly nodded. _

**3333333333**

**Yes. It's QUITE short. (Sticks tongue out) and I don't care! All stories are now on hiatus. Don't flame me for it. I'm going through a rough time, so I cant update often. In fact, you're lucky you're getting this one. **

**Dolly**


	17. a dead sexy intermission

**INTERMISSION! (Woo!) LOTS OF INTERMISSIONS!**

**I was craving writing humor. Don't kill me, I will continue, but I wanna do some drabbles that have been stuck in my head. DON'T KILL ME!**

**333333333**

Roy was bored. There was no denying it. He had been doing paperwork for almost an hour. WITHOUT STOPPING. And now, Roy was tired and bored. He didn't get a lot of sleep the past few nights; he kept having nightmares and waking up Ed, who would then yell and tell him to suck it up and go to sleep.

And so they had a lunch date at 1. It was currently 12:45, so only 15 minutes until Ed came into his office, smiling and hurrying Roy off to some random place to eat. Roy sighed, put down his pen, and placed his head on his desk.

8888888888888888888888888888888888888

Ed was worried. He was about ten minutes late to Roy's office, and he knew Roy would be pissed if he was late. Well, _more_ late. He pushed open the doors to the unit and ran to Roy's door.

He was about to open it, when he heard a chainsaw-like noise. Roy.

Ed slowly opened the door to Mustang's office, with a huge grin on his face. He walked silently up to the sleeping man.

"Asleep on the job, Roy?" he asked quietly. "And you forgot about our date. Tisk, tisk, Roy." He took the pen into his hand and wrote something on the paperwork under the man's head. "That should teach you." He then pushed back his bangs, put back the pen, and headed out the door to go keep Al from getting more kittens.

88888888888888888888888888888888888888

"SIR!" Riza's voice echoed through Roy's head, awakening him from his kinky dream. He yawned, stretched, blinked to get used to the light, looked at his empty coffee mug, and finally looked at Riza.

"Yes?" he asked, sleep not to far in his voice.

"You need to work on what you write, sir."

"What? Let me see it."

Riza handed the paper over to the colonel. Roy sighed. This is what he got for missing his date with Ed. Ed was always the jealous type, anyway, and revenge suits him well. Roy handed Hawkeye back the paper.

"Neh, just white it out. Oh, but tell no one about it."

"Yes, sir!" and she left the room.

Roy smiled. It was just like Ed to seek vengeance for him missing a silly little date. But he wouldn't tell Ed that, no. He liked having his legs where they were, not on his head.

888888888888888888888888888888888888888

"Havoc, what are you doing?" asked Riza.

"Did you see what the colonel wrote? It's hilarious!"

Riza sighed, took the paper, and threw it away. She would have to get another copy for Roy to re-sign.

So inside the garbage can sat a little paper with the latest in a series of new codes that the unit needed to learn. It had important instructions from the Fuhrer himself. Signed at the bottom, was _Colonel Roy Mustang **LOOKS DEAD SEXY IN A MINI-SKIRT.**_

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**Hehe. I love lame humor. And Vic. Woo!**


	18. i'm song sorry

**Okay, unless you want the suicidal short to continue, I shall be doing humor. I'm kinda over suicide and emo-ness at the moment. Plus, I have many ideas for drabbles. Tell me if you want something different. **

**333333333**

_Oh here it goes, here it goes, here it goes again. Oh, here it goes again_.

"No." (And the knob turned)

_To the left, to the left. To the left, to the left…_

"NOT THAT ONE." (Again it turned)

_You never call me when you're sober… yeah_

"**_Ew_**! No!" (Once more it turned)

_I'm a dancing with myself. Well, there's nothing to loose and there's nothing to prove, so I'm a dancing with myself…_

"Just shut the damn thing off, Roy. There's only crap on today." The blonde sighed, and flicked his head to get the hair out of his eyes. Not that he cared much; hair in your eyes was a very trendy hairstyle. Of course, so was being 'emo', as some people called it. Ed wasn't emo. No, he just liked black and had tight pants. And was gay, but that's not a very crucial thing to being emo. Cutting your wrists makes you emo.

"Well, Ed," Roy said, eyeing his young lover. "I thought you said you didn't want it to be quiet while we drove out here. I mean, I didn't bring any CD's, so we'll just have to listen to this 'crap' for now." Roy smiled. He had actually remembered his CD's, but Ed just didn't like them. So they would have to settle for the radio.

Ed sighed. "I just want to make a good impression. And what do I get?" He leaned his head against the window. "I get a lousy driver/ boyfriend who can't seem to get any good music." Ed took off his sunglasses and set them down on his lap. He took out his hair tie and looked at Roy.

Roy was trying to keep his eyes on the road. Really, he was. But the fact that a hot blonde was taking out his hair was kinda making it hard for him to keep his eyes on the road. Roy cleared his throat as Ed was finishing doing his hair.

"I think you should cut it." Roy said suddenly. He had been actually wanting to say it for a while, now. But Ed was silent. Roy turned his head briefly to see the reaction on the junior's face. To say the least, it wasn't the most happiest.

He had his eyes wide. His mouth looked as if he had no control over his jaw (it was dropped). His head was turned to see the dark-haired man. Roy bit his bottom lip and tightened his grip on the steering wheel.

"You _what_?" Ed finally asked, regaining control of his jaw again. "I… cut my hair? My hair… the thing that distinguishes me from everyone else. You want me to cut it. Why the hell should I cut it?.!"

Roy sighed. This was the kind of reaction he was expecting. Ed was almost as sensitive about his hair as he was about his… _vertical issues_.

"Not only does it clog the shower," Roy explained calmly. "But it goes everywhere. Did you know I found on my cologne bottle? It goes everywhere!" Roy turned once again to his boyfriend.

"I know." He said quietly. His face was hidden by his bangs. His arms were crossed. His knees were together in an odd position for some random reason. "But you seemed to like it last night." Roy blushed. It was true; he loved Ed's hair when it was undone and sprawled out on Roy's chest. Or on a pillow, when the sun hit it just so, making a little halo around the blonde's head.

Roy gently pushed the break as they came to the intersection. Ed hadn't said anything for almost half an hour, which was starting to worry Roy. Al the blonde did was sit there with his head against the window. Roy suddenly got an epiphany. He smirked at Ed, even though he knew he didn't see it.

Roy quietly pulled a CD out from its case. The light was still red. He clicked the POWER button (after making sure the volume was off) and slid the disc in. He glanced over at the sulking Ed. Once the player started, Roy flipped to track 7 and turned up the volume.

_When you have to look away,  
When you don't have much to say,  
That's when I love you,  
I love you just that way._

Ed lifted his head off of the window as Roy pushed the gas pedal.

_  
To here you stumble when u speak,  
Or see you walk with two left feet…  
That's when I love you.  
I love you, endlessly!_

Ed smiled. Roy would always play this song when he felt like he did something wrong. He said 'it's like you're singing, Ed!' and gotten the CD.

_  
And when your mad cause you lost the game  
Forget I'm waiting in the rain  
Baby I love you.  
I love you anyway._

Roy hoped this was working. After all, he didn't want to have an angry boyfriend in the car for the next half hour. It was torture enough having him quiet. Hopefully the song would work… it always seemed to in the past_._

Cause here's my promise made tonight  
you can count on me for life  
Cause that's when I love you  
When nothing you do can change my mind  
The more I learn the more I love  
The more my heart can't get enough  
That's when I love you  
When I love you,   
No matter what.

Yeah, it was definitely inside Ed's head. Roy was always getting in trouble for forgetting a date, or making excuses, or forgetting money to actually _pay_ for the date… but Ed still loved him.  
_  
So when you turn to hide your eyes  
Cause the movie it made you cry.  
That's when I love you  
I love you…  
A little more each time!  
And when you cant quite match you clothes  
Or when you laugh at your own jokes  
that's when I love you I love you  
More then you know  
And when you forgot that we had a date  
Or that look that you give when you show up late  
Baby I love you ,I love you anyway!_

Ed reached over and turned the volume down. They were still about 25 minutes away from their location. Roy turned to see Ed smiling at him. Roy, of course, smiled back. Ed's smiles were more contagious than the flu.__

So here's my promise made tonight  
you can count on me for life  
Cause that's when I love you  
When nothing you do can change my mind  
The more I learn the more I love  
The more my heart cant get enough  
That's when I love you  
When I love you  
No matter what!

"You really need to get some new song, Roy." He said, breaking the silence. Sure, the music was still lightly playing… but still.

"But this one always works." Roy said with a smirk. "We're almost there, anyway."

Ed crossed his arms. "I swear. One minute you're Mister Romance, and the next you're the Creature from the Most Oblivious Club." Roy chuckled. Ed never was that good at making up insults like that. Just random little non-meant words.

"You know," Roy said softly. "It's gonna be hard with us living together."

Ed smiled. "You, Mustang. Never seem to see the big picture, do you?" Roy gave him a questioning look and Ed sighed. "What I mean is that just because I'm moving in with you doesn't mean anything big. Besides," he nudged the older man gently. "What would my friends think if I told them where I _actually_ was going?"

Roy smiled. He didn't really like Ed's friends. They had too much of a bad influence on him. But they accepted him. So that was okay.

"Yeah. But there's one rule you have to abide by at my house."

"Yeah? What is it?"

"Stay."

_  
Ohh, that's when I love you- when nothing baby, nothing you do could change my mind.  
The more I learn, the more I love, the more my heart can't get enough!  
That's when I love you, when I love you… no matter what!_

Ohh, no matter what.

**3333333333333333333**

**Whoa. I did NOT mean for that to morph into a song fic. Oh well. It's still random. WOO!**

**Don't forget! If you want me to continue the suicide thing... tell me. If not, tell me. Either way I get a review! (Evil mastermind grin)**


	19. courage

**Okay, unless you want the suicidal short to continue, I shall be doing humor. I'm kinda over suicide and emo-ness at the moment. Plus, I have many ideas for drabbles. Tell me if you want something different. **

**333333333**

Roy couldn't blame Ed for being mad. Hell, if he was Ed, he would've been even angrier. The things he said… why did he take it out on the blonde? Roy shook his head, letting the dark locks sway away from his face. It was because he was stressed about what Ed's reaction would be. His reaction_…_

"_Do you know why I come home so late, Ed?" Roy yelled at the teen across the table. "It's because sometimes I don't even want to see you!"_

Yeah, Ed had a right to be mad.

But he wasn't.

No, instead, he felt bad. As if Roy's outburst was somehow his fault. Like he had made the wrong dinner, or burnt something, or even forgot to turn the radio off. It was always his fault on missions. So wasn't it the same.

"_You can't expect me to be perfect, Roy!" he had replied, gasping to hold back the tears. "I'm sorry that I'm not perfect!" and he had stormed off to his room._

Looking back, Roy should've tried to comfort the younger alchemist. But no, he had decided to walk out of the house and down to the local pub. That was a great place for Ed to find him. At the local bar, with tons of jealous men and loose women.

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"He hate's this body." Ed whispered to the dark room. He had ripped off his shirt. He felt the cold metal of his arm with his flesh hand. "I hate this body… how could he have put up with it? Dammit!"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Roy stumbled out of the bar, obviously had too many drinks. He was weeping drunken tears, and was blubbering on about losing something. The men inside the bar were laughing at the poor Flame, making him feel even worse.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ed stepped out into the cool air. The time was about one in the morning, so Ed came to the conclusion that Roy wasn't exactly going to be home soon. Ed sighed, pulled his coat close, and headed down the street.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Roy closed his eyes, the tears long gone by now. He was sitting on the bench at the park, the one he and Ed used to always come to after they had gone out. Back when they had first started dating. It was a pity really, how soon their relationship had gone from BOOM with sex, to ZIP with little pecked kisses.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I shouldn't have angered him." Said Ed to himself. Actually, he didn't. But Roy had just let out his frustrations on the young alchemist, making it seem like every little thing was his fault. But it wasn't. No, it was Roy's. Roy and his damn lack of courage.

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**Neh. A review would be nice, though this kinda sucked. Oh well. Pity on me?**


	20. not yet christmas

**OMG I'M UPDATING!!! _((Gasps)) _Yes, but that's just because I'm on my moms computer and sadly don't have any of my stories here... damn. (My computer has a virus) Anyway, here's some nice little drabble to keep u from hitting me with bowling balls.**

**Disclaimer: it's winter break!!! Woo!**

Snow is white. And it's cold, freezing, chilly, icy, nippy, and frosty. The warmth of summer is gone, and you're stuck with snowy lace EVERYWHERE. And, because of the heavy showers of frozen water, people get stuck in their houses. And, because they are stuck, they cant go to work at their **_incredibly_** boring jobs. So most people hate this time of year. But then again, I said **_most_**, not **_all._**..

"We're stuck." the blonde said, closing the door. He had just opened it, but came face to face with white cold stuff. Snow? yeah, go figure.

"Well, Edward," the dark haired man said from the couch. "If you had done the driveway like I told you..." Roy looked up from his coffee to see a glaring Ed standing in front of him. "Now what's wrong?"

_((Glare))_

"What is it, Edward?" The man put his reindeer mug down on the table as Ed crossed his arms.

"You." The blonde tapped his foot. "You bastard." _((TAP TAP TAP))_ ((_POWER GLARE))_

Roy sighed and pulled the blonde onto his lap. The teen squeaked at the surprise, but then settled on Roy's lap.

"You know," Roy said, stoking Ed's loose hair. "We should go warm up." Ed turned and glared at the man. "You still mad?" Ed growled and got off of Roy. "What?" Roy was getting a little tired of exactly what was wrong. Or what he had done wrong. Or both.

"You." Ed once again crossed his arms and tapped his foot. Then he sighed. "You don't know, do you?" He looked at Roy with pleading eyes. Roy sighed.

"Well, yesterday was your birthday... so it can't be that. It's not Christmas just yet..." Roy picked up his mug. "What is it, Ed?"

((TAP TAP TAP))

"Fine, don't tell me."

"I wanted you to figure it out on your own." Ed sighed and walked out of the room. Roy blinked a few times, took 3 sips of his now cold coffee, and then Ed came back with his hands behind his back, a hidden smile beneath his bangs.

"What now, Ed?" Roy asked, a slight hint of fear in his voice. Ed pulled out a dark blue wrapped gift from behind him.

"Happy Anniversary, Bastard."

_Edward had turned 18 last year. So he was no lo0nger a minor. So Roy Mustang could kiss, date, and fuck him. With his consent, of course, but still._

Roy opened the box to find nothing, except for a small key. He looked up to a blushing Ed, who then ran up the stairs. Then it clicked. Roy ran up the stairs and unlocked the door, then locked it...

_And that was last year, when Roy had first asked Ed out. _

_Ed loved this time of year. _

**Neh, not my best, and sorta long for a drabble, but oh well. hope that semi makes up for me being gone. **


	21. noises

**Woo! To make up for lost time, here's another drabble! (OMG TWO IN ONE DAY!!!)**

OUTSIDE THE OFFICE

"Mmmm!" a young voice said from Mustang's office. The people outside the room sighed. Ed moaning meant one thing... office sex.

INSIDE THE OFFICE

"Mmmm!" a young voice said from the couch. His smile was freakishly big, and his eyes were closed.

Roy Mustang raised an eyebrow.

"I thought only I could make you make those noises, Ed." The blonde came out of his trance and looked at the man behind the desk.

"Well ya, but these are nice, too." he tilted his head back and smiled. "Mmmm."

Roy quietly stood, crept over to the couch, and was about 9 inches away from Ed's face when he decided to bend down and poke Ed.

"Ow!" the teen glared at the older male. "What the fuck was that for?"

"To get you to look up." and Roy covered Ed's lips in a deep, bone-melting kiss. Then, after about 63 seconds of making out, Roy returned to his desk with a very happy smile on his face.

Ed, on the other hand, was wide0eyed on the couch with an open mouth.

"Fine! Take it then!" and he stormed out of the room.

Roy sighed, then closed his eyes.

Ed was right, Sweet Tarts _are_ nice.


	22. lickings

"Roy?" the bump on the bed asked.

"Mmffft.." was the reply he got.

"ROY."

The other bump sat up.

"What?"

The blonde peeked his head out from the red blankets and smiled.

"You were licking my ear in your sleep."

The older man blushed.

"Oh," he looked at the teen and smirked. "But the tent in you pants is saying it was okay."

A light shade of red appeared on the young alchemist's face.

"Shuddup and go to sleep." he rolled over, and they both went under the covers.

"NO FOOTSY ROY!!!"

**LOL sleep is great. I wish I got more of it.**


	23. yummy!

"Ed." He kept his eyes closed as he felt warm hands come around his waist. He just walked to the other side of the kitchen. "Aww, come on, Ed." Ed turned around and glared at his superior officer.

"I worked very hard on those." Roy smiled.

"I think they're great." He took a step towards Ed, who was currently up against the fridge. "You know what else tastes great?" Roy said suggestively.

"No, Roy. Not now, I don't want to." Ed was soon cut off by Mustang's lips on his own. The lips slowly went down his chin and onto his collar bone. Then they went to his neck. "R-Roy..."

Roy backed off, smirking.

"You can make more cookies tomorrow."

and with that, he grabbed Ed's hand and off they went to the bedroom.

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**See? I got this idea because I was just making cookies. mmm. they're yummy. I'll give you one if you review!**


	24. love me sweet

**okay, prepare for bad spelling and puntuation. i'm typing this on ff's document thing so my mom cant read it... so its gonna be weird. but i havent poested ANYTHING in a LONG time, so i figured, somethings better than nothing. so... here 'tis.**

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Two words: ETERNAL LOVE. that's all it said on the chalky candy. and it was just sitting there, under my last peice of paperwork. like it was waiting for me. It's weird, because nomally people get these candies on valentines day, which was about 2 weeks ago. And yet here it is. I ate it, even though i hate the plain chalky taste of those damn hearts. I was done with work, and so i walked out of my office.

Roy was sure to be home by then, he always got off the hook by being the _fuhrer_. But its fine, with him up there, relationships within the military are booming. its almost shocking. But ours was never that much of a secret anyway. but now its perfectly legal. and so we've been going out for almost 2 years, ever since i was 17. he was so sweet though, wanted to wait til i was legal to have sex.

i found another candy on the floor. That heart said BE TRUE. somebody had a leak of those things. but i picked it up... i would eat it, but hey, it had been on the ground. EW. so i kept walking. and i found more. ALWAYS YOURS. MISSING YOU. BE MINE. they all seemed directed at me. its rather cheesey, but thats how we do things. how did i know it was Roy? i found one in my pocket, LOVE, with a note: _GET HOME TO FIND MORE_.

There was a box of chocolates on the seat when i hopped in my car. on it was another heart. "LOVE ME". i figured it'd be wise not to keep Roy waiting. And as it turned out, there were rose petals all over when i opened the door. and of course, a few candy hearts. KISS ME. i walked up the stairs to the room Roy and i share. HUG ME. its so quiet, i'm not sure if he's home. but he has to be, the lights are on. CUDDLE ME. and its so ironic, that one. i'm always the one that swallows my pride and asks to cuddle.

BE MINE? a question for once.

"Yes." i answer when i get to our door. I open it, and hes there. he smiles, and tosses me a candy and a little box.

"MARRY ME?" he says as i do, reading it aloud.

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"So don't judge candy," Ed explained to his neices and nephew. "It can be VERY mislead- AH!"

two arms wrapped around his small frame, pulling him into a hug. The girls giggled and the boy blushed.

"ED! what the hell are you teaching my children! i dont want them to think every little thing is asking them to marry some one!"

but ed didnt hear winry's rant, and he didnt want to. He and Roy, with their white gold wedding bands, were happily making out, just a few yards away, heading up to the honeymoon suite. after all, that _is_ what you do after your wedding.

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**not the way i planned, but hopefully enough to remind you i'm still alive.**


	25. moo

Another one? yes. why? i have like 2 minutes to type this, so enjoy the misspellings and such.

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"Ed?"

"...mutt moo moo munt, musturd?"

Roy laughed. "What?"

Ed removed the blanket from his face. "I said, what do u want, bastard?"

"That's not nice to say."

"It's like... 8 in the fucking morning on a damn saturday."

"So? that gives you no right to say mean things to me. especially after last night." He winked and Ed blushed.

"Shut up, bastard."

"So... what i wanted to say. Today we can go shopping, do laundry... fuck."

"What? did you forget already? Damn, you're getting old fast."

"No, i was just thinking of what to do today."


	26. club heaven

**Okay. Internet is off. TV is boring. My story here is totally random and inspired by the dance I just went to. It was playing in my mind for about 2 ½ hours. THE STORY IS MODERN DAY. Oh, and your stories are keeping me alive. And here we go.**

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"Please?" His angelic voice was both seductive and pleading at the same time. Ed was sitting on the couch, on his knees. Roy was sitting next to him reading; well, _trying_ to read the newspaper. That was pretty hard when your lover is in your boxers and shirt. Which by the way, were a _little_ to large for the blonde. Roy sighed.

"If we go, you can't drink." Ed smiled. "And we can't stay out past two." Ed's smile grew. "And," Roy smirked, "you may not drive. Remember last time?" Ed blushed, but his smiled didn't fade.

"I'm gonna get ready, then." Ed said happily, kissed Roy on the cheek, and then headed upstairs. Roy smiled.

"Oh, to be young…..young_er_."

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The music could be heard a block away. Edward was excited, to say the least. He loved going to clubs. He was 19, so he had an ID. He could drink in some places, but most had the age limit at 21. But he didn't drink that much at clubs anyway. He was wearing tight leather pants and a black T with "Stellar Corpses" on it. (**They are a band in Santa Cruz that I love. Check 'em out on myspace if u want.)** His hair was down, at Roy's request, and his shoes were classic Converse.

Roy was wearing faded black jeans and a plain white T. Not too exciting, so he put on a cool jacket that Ed had given to him his last birthday. He wore his boots, but they were a little faded too from years of use. Ed wanted to buy him new ones, but Roy insisted they were too expensive. The real reason? They were his favorite pair.

And as they waited in the line, Ed was bouncing. Roy put his hands on his shoulders to settle him down, but spooked him first. Ed gasped and turned around (He was in front of Roy) to see Roy. Ed hit him lovingly, and took a few steps forward as the line progressed.

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When they finally got inside, Ed immediately took Roy's hand and tried to lead him onto the dance floor. But Roy protested that he wanted a drink first and that Ed should enjoy himself for a bit. Ed hesitantly obeyed and went onto the floor. He found that getting a girl to dance with him was pretty easy, even if he _was_ gay.

Roy just sat and watched. He had gotten a glass of scotch and sat down at a couple table. From where he was, he could watch Ed. And watch with the eyes of a hawk/eagle mix. He watched as Ed's hips moved side to side. Ed's hands went with the beat of the music up and down, and even tucked hair behind his ear. His eyes were half opened, making him look relaxed and happy. Roy couldn't take it.

He got up and headed straight towards where Ed was dancing. The song changed, and Ed's dance partner went off to join her other little friends. Ed was left alone, so turned and found Roy. The dark haired man was blank faced, but it soon went to a smile as he took Ed by the hand.

You see, no matter how Roy wanted to, he wasn't that good of a freak dancer. Or at least he didn't look good dancing like that. But _slow_ dancing… he was KING. And so he pulled Ed close, not minding the stares and 'humph's from onlookers. Because in Roy's mind, it was just him and Ed on the dance floor. They danced, and they swayed, and Ed's head rested on Roy's chest.

But it wasn't the club that Roy remembers most about that night. It was the night he proposed to Ed. Dance, dinner, crying tears of joy that they would both deny… Unless there really was a heaven, and they had each other, that was as good as it would get. And marriage is fun. They already lived together, it's just they had rings. And Ed had a diamond one that he LOVED to show off.

And of course, they would always dance to that song, even though it was stupid. A lame song, if anything. A boring, pointless song that meant nothing. But that was all a lie; it was BEAUTIFUL. No, the song was HEAVEN.

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**Wow. Not how I planned it at all, but whatever. Yes, the slow version of Heaven.**

**Oh, and quick poll. What fic do you want finished first? I need to know. VOTE!!!**


	27. hair you are!

**Nothing to do on a Saturday night? Yeah, that's me.**

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Ed didn't like wearing his hair up. Really, he didn't like it at all. But it often go in his way when working, so he tied it back in a ponytail or loose braid. But then his hair would get that annoying bump in it, and then he couldn't take it down until he got home. And if he wore it too tight, Ed would get a headache but still have to work.

Roy liked it when Ed wore his hair down, so Ed did it often when they went out. It would just sit there, on his shoulder. And the light would hit it just right... like a halo around an angel. But Roy didn't believe in angels. Or God, gods, hell, heaven, the devil... but that's going on a tangent, isn't it?

"But you look so pretty with it up, Edward!"

"I don't like it up. I get headaches if it's too tight, anyway. Plus, Roy likes it down."

"But it won't stay if you wear your hair down. Its clips have to grab onto the hair just right and hold it in place!"

"(Sigh) I don't care, Winry. I'm wearing my hair down and that's final."

"I guess you're right. Oh! It'll totally make you look more like a girl, too! Why didn't I think of that? I bet I said it earlier and you just ignored me like always. But it's okay! I forgive you."

"Right. So you think... wait. Make me look like a girl? Doesn't the damn dress do that enough?"

"(Sigh) Edward, someone had to wear the dress. It's a wedding after all."

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**So freakin' random. Do not know where the hell it came from, but... oh well.**


	28. cute jealousy

**Okay, I still have no idea what story to finish first, so random updates is what I shall do. And... This drabble because drabbles are just so gosh darn fun, aren't they?**

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"Wow." Roy said as he took a book off of the shelf. He then put it back, realizing it wasn't the one he was looking for. "I can feel them, you know. Your eyes, burning a hole in the back of my head." He turned to Ed, who was sitting on the couch, silent. "I'm sorry." Roy said, standing and taking a step towards his young lover.

"Yeah?" Ed stretched his arms up over his head, revealing a little midriff to the observing Roy. "You think what you did is so damn _trivial_ that it'll be fixed with just a '_sorry_'?"

Roy froze in front of Ed. It wasn't as if he had slept with her. It was just a waitress, anyway.

"You shouldn't do that, Ed." He sat down next to the blonde and put his arms around him. Ed put his head on Roy's shoulder.

"Do what?" Ed asked as Roy started kissing his neck.

"Get jealous. It makes you..." He looked into the teen's eyes. "Irresistible." He moved Ed's tank so he wouldn't have to stop sucking the delicious neck. Ed moaned. "And now," Roy added as his hands moved over the blonde's body. "I'm going to prove that I love you more thanks anyone."

The neighbors didn't have the courage to call the police on the noise. And the other neighbors... thought it was... cute.

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**Neh, not how I wanted it. Oh well. So I still need to know what fic to finish first. It'll help with updating!**


	29. love me tender

**Bored. Tired. TGIF. And off we go.**

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Edward held the roses in his hand, letting the thorns pierce his skin. He had gotten his arm and leg back. He had gotten Al's body back. But he had lost something, too. A life of a loved one is said to always be with you. Edward didn't believe that. No, Al would be gone forever.

You see, yes, they had gotten his body back. But the soul was restless in it, and broke free. The younger Elric felt nothing but a tug at his heart, then closed his eyes to forever sleep. Edward had been a few steps ahead of him, on their way to HQ to show off to everyone. There was never a show, just a funeral, which Ed was currently at.

And it was a sunny day, the type of day that Alphonse loved. The birds were quiet, however, almost in reverence. There was priest, even though no one believed. Once the casket was covered, people patted Ed on the back and told him goodbye. Edward wouldn't let go of the roses. Just three roses is all he had; three deep red roses.

Ed looked at the headstone, remembering the day of his mother's funeral. He had the same, stony blank face of a military dog. He shed no tears, though he probably couldn't due to the mourning he had done so many nights before. And so the roses pricked his skin, and small drops of blood came down and onto the soil.

He never realized the figure next to him, on his right. Bu the arm went around his shoulder to comfort, and the other hand to his right hand, to loosen his grip on the flowers. They fell, one by one by one, onto the dirt.

Edward hadn't realized it, but Mustang had been waiting that whole time. Just wanting to wait until Ed was ready to bawl until taking action. So he did, and let him off the hill, and to his car. The blonde was silent, but Roy wouldn't have expected any less. The teen hadn't spoken since the incident.

That night, Ed stayed at Roy's, in a room just 3 doors down. And he woke up screaming. To know that he wasn't ever going to get what he wanted killed him inside. The thought of always being alone haunted him. Walking by himself, never settling down, always with the thought of death on his mind, just scared the shit out of Ed. That is, until he felt the arms around him, whispers of hope in his ear, and the promises of a life never alone. He felt the warmth of another, the heartbeats at the same rhythm, and the soft lips on his own.

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**AWWW! Holy wow I actually liked it! I mean, not to sound conceded or anything.**

**This is dedicated to the students and families of Virginia Tech.**


	30. finally

**RANDOM! Fear it. Love it. Obsess it. RANDOM.**

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The rain was pouring down, yet there was no thunder. There wasn't any lightning, either. So it was astonishing to think that anyone would be out in that weather. But as we all know, Edward Elric is _very_ astonishing.

He was walking in the rain, to the one place he thought he'd never have to go to again. Why, he never thought he'd go there in the first place, but one thing led to another and... So he was walking in the downpour.

Roy Mustang hated the rain. Nothing good came of it, he thought. And it made him seem utterly useless. So when he thought of rain, he thought of anger towards it, never pity or repentance. But the rain was works in odd ways.

The doorbell rang as the clock chimed. Roy got up and opened the door, realizing it wasn't going to be important, but he wasn't really doing anything anyway.

Ed didn't look up when the door opened, or when he heard the slight gasp. No, Ed just put his hands in his pockets and took a breath.

"I... I don't know if I like you," he started out slowly. "But...damn." He wanted to say it. But no matter how many times he had said it in front of a mirror, it still sounded corny. Roy hated corny/emotional things. Ed took a breath and tried again.

"I don't know if I like you." He paused, letting Roy take it all in. "But... but I think I love you." Ed bit his lip from embarrassment.

Roy smiled. He put his hand on Ed's cheek.

"Finally, one of us finally had the guts to say it."

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**Lame? You tell me.**


	31. fishy

**I have no idea if this will end up on ff or not, but let's pray that it does, yes? Oh, and I'm sick at home is the only reason that I'm updating. Sorry it took so long!**

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"What about that one?" Ed asked, pointing to a sickly yellow fish. Roy raised an eyebrow at him.

"You gonna eat a rotten fish? I'm not." He continued down the isle. He randomly poked his head low to see the crab or whatever inside the glass, only to see it wasn't that fresh and turn away. He stopped the cart and turned back to Ed. "You coming?"

"Well if I knew what the hell we were looking for, you wouldn't have to do all the work. I mean, I can pick out good apples."

"You get the ones with bruises."

"I can pick out the nice bread."

"You always get stale bread."

"I can get good..." Ed tapped his index finger on his lips in thought. "I get good ponies."

"What?" Roy knew Ed had been off lately, with Al's wedding coming up, Riza's not-so-secret relationship with Havoc being found out... by Ed, and the food in their little apartment was running low. But... ponies?

"Yes, ponies. They've got strong muscles, soft yet thick hair, and love little things." Ed smiled, hoping Roy would get it.

"We don't have any horses, Ed. Or ponies for that matter. I mean, we... oh." The older one's face went blank, and then a smile formed on his lips. "Creative." He put his arm around Ed's shoulder.

"It's just so nice to see a father and son going shopping together!" A woman cooed from behind the couple. They instantly took their hands off each other and glared at her.

"I AM NOT THAT YOUNG, LADY." Ed hissed through his teeth.

"And I, am DEFINITELY, not that old." Roy said with disgust.

"Well then what are you two? Brothers?"

"Do I look like this bastard's brother? Blonde hair, dark hair. Ember eyes, onyx eyes. What a load of-"

"Reality." Roy cut in. The woman had come and gone, leaving the two alone in the isle. "The reality of the situation, Ed, is that. People will think of you as my son, no, don't interrupt. And they'll think we're brothers. Get used to it."

Ed blinked. The Roy he knew and loved had just transformed into a wise old man. He smiled.

"You know, you certainly _act_ old enough."

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**Way off of what I started out with...oh well. Sorry it's just a drabble, but I'm sicky and stuff, so... yeah. but at least it's something.**


	32. cycle

**So… reasons for me not updating anything? Let me list them. Grounding. Yelling. Getting kicked out of the house. Mom quitting her job to be home. Door being ripped off. More grounding. Summer. Being watched 24/7. Babysitting. So expect no updates for… neh, a good long while. I think maybe sometime in July… maybe. I'm at my grandma's house. That's the only way I can get ANY internet. Anyway, I'm trying to update all my stories before three or so, so… yeah. Just wanted to say I've been craving so bad it's a drug.**

**Oh like I seriously can own FMA. (It'd be WAY too explicit!) So let's start out emo!**

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"I thought, for the longest time, that I was the only one who felt that sort of pain." The blonde stated. "I knew that people died. It's a natural thing. Life goes in that sad cycle. But," he closed his eyes for a moment and took a breath. "But you never notice how connected we all are until something horrible happens. And when it happens, all you want is to be left alone.

"'Cause no one knows how you feel. That's what you tell yourself. You convince yourself that you can't move on without that person. And then you realize, in an unexplained epiphany, that you're not really alone anymore. You have the others in misery with you, who also feel alone. So you be alone together. It's as if your being close with other miserable people makes it seem less… miserable.

"And when you really want to, you can remember that person you lost. And it hurts. Oh, it hurts like a _bitch_, and you _cry_. You cry like a little baby. And all this is because of one stupid son of a bitch that couldn't stay alive." Ed took a breath and calmed himself. He swore when he got sad or angry. "But really, in all honesty, you're being selfish.

"You're crying. You're sad because they're not there with _you_. _You_ miss their company. Screw them, why'd they leave _you_? You can say they're in heaven. Fine, that's one person's opinion. But really, once you're dead, you're dead. And a soul? I don't know what to say about a soul. It more… _defines_ a person than anything. Gives it the human side of their emotions."

The casket was being lowered. Both of them, the two caskets, were adorned with fresh flowers. They looked peaceful and lively with the lids down. Inside, the people were lifeless. They were dead.

"But we all move on." Said a voice from behind Ed. He smiled and turned around to face the speaker. "And in time, we accept the losses, and gains, that we've been dealt. We either say that fate did it," Ed frowned a bit. "Or, we can people's decisions made everything happen. At the end of the day, it doesn't really matter. They're gone, you're not, move on. Or not. Just love. Love to live," Roy smiled at Ed.

"…And live to love." Ed took Roy's hand as they both walked off and out of the graveyard.

"And," Roy stated with a smirk on his face. "We thought _we'd_ be dead." Ed smiled.

"I still don't believe in ghosts, Bastard." Ed said, his smile staying. "Even if we are them."

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**Neh, okay for my long awaited update. Reviews are welcomed but not expected. Who still loves me?**


	33. tanned man

**So I thought I could update them all. Can't. Sorry. It's impossible for me right now. I'll try in a few… weeks? Arrg. Enjoy the freakin drabble. At three in the morning.**

**Oh like I seriously can own FMA. (It'd be WAY too explicit!) **

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It was sunny. Okay, even that was an understatement. It was the hottest, and longest, day of the year. And it just so happened that the military decided keep energy costs low. Meaning no air conditioning. Roy was in his office dying. That is, until a certain young blonde came in.

"Wanna go to the pool?" he asked, hope in every word. He walked over to where Roy was sitting behind his desk and sat on his lap. Ed smiled. "It'll be much less hot." Roy grinned as well, then looked back down at his desk and frowned.

"Too much paperwork." He stated, his mouth forming a sad pout. Ed stood from his lap and walked over to the door.

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Somehow, Ed convinced Hawkeye to let Roy, aka the Fuhrer, go out for the rest of the day. They had to stop off at Roy's house to get swim trunks, and then headed to Ed's friend's pool. It was quite relaxing; there were lounge chairs, swimming rafts, and a pool that was almost 50 feet long and 10 feet wide (for laps). Ed sat down on one of the chairs as Roy laid out his own towel.

"Will you sunscreen me?" He asked, trying to put on his cutest puppy dog face. Roy gave him a questioning look.

"You too small to do it yourself, now?" He grinned as Ed glared and reached in his beach bag for the sunscreen. Ed tossed the bottle to Roy and he walked over to his chair and sat down. "Move your hair." Roy nicely commanded. Ed did, so Roy slathered the white protection over his back and shoulders.

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123 minutes later, the couple was sound asleep on their own lounge chairs. And Havoc, who was supposed to pick them up an hour later, decided to come by early.

"So chiefs, you ready… to…go…?" Havoc smiled nervously at the sight of the sleeping alchemists. Then his inner demon took over as he spied the sunscreen. He'd always wanted to do it…and who would suspect?

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It was a hot day in Central, so most guys had their shirts off. This included Roy and Ed. However, they were freshly tanned and Ed's hair was still slightly wet from the pool. But they didn't expect all the stares. Well, not when they _weren't_ making out.

"Why's everyone staring at us?" Ed stood on tiptoe to whisper in Roy's ear.

"I don't know. Did we get sunburned?" Roy motioned Ed to spin around. He started cracking up.

"What?" Ed demanded to know. "What? Did I get a sunburn? I'm a lobster!" Roy put his arm around his young lover's waist.

"Nah," he whispered. "You're just cute."

People watching hid their giggles, for the flame had the same thing wrong with him.

On Ed? _Roy Bangs This _was lighter skinned than his new tan.

On Roy? _I Bang Ed_ was lighter that his slightly tanned skin.

Not that they would know…

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**Way shorter than I wanted it to be, but… it's late and I gotta get up early. So… sorry! Bye bye bye bye bye!**


	34. unpredictable

Ed sat there, on the bench, the cool breeze rustling through his long hair. He sat there, watching the bird on the wire. The wire gently swung as the bird settled, and the bird looked asleep. Ed sighed; he was so much like the bird.

"Like a damn sleeping bird." He whispered to the silence.

The wire had stopped moving, as did the bird. Ed frowned and became almost worried; _'birds don't sleep on telephone wires, do they?_' The bird shifted and Ed let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. But he was still like the bird.

"Like the damn bird." He whispered as he leaned his head back until it his head hit the wall.

The bird suddenly flapped its wings and took off in a hurry. Ed smiled. The bird was nowhere to be seen, but Ed liked it that way. The bird reminded him of both himself and Roy. Ed was always there, waiting for something…someone…

"And Roy's always going, never with any reason." He frowned slightly as the wind blew harsher against his face.

The silence was eerie. Ed knew the base would get like that at night, but not during the day… He pulled out his watch. It was almost seven thirty. Roy told him to wait for him over an hour ago. They had reservations at seven. Those were lost.

Ed glanced back over to the wire, where the bird sat, popping its little head at unseen insects. He smiled.

"But Roy always comes back." He closed his eyes. "And fills me with hope."

Ed heard the fluttering of wings again. He hastily opened his eyes, worried that the bird had once again flown away. Instead, he saw the bird with four others, two on both sides.

"Like family." Ed said. "Always there when you're alone." He smiled. "But only after a freak-out."

He stood, took a final look at his feathered entertainment, and took a few steps towards the front door of East Headquarters. To his enjoyment, out came an out of breath Roy Mustang, trying to not fall down the steps.

"Ed! Fuck, why didn't you come inside?" He worriedly asked as he ran up to Ed and took off his coat. "You're freezing. Great, you're gonna get sick and…" He put the coat around Ed's shoulders. "…and blame me, then I'll have to do something and you'll just…" Roy paused, confused at the glazed look and the smile on Ed's face. "What?"

"A bird," He stated, pointing to the wire. Ed frowned. All the birds were gone. "It was like us." He turned back to Roy. "Like us, Roy, just like us." Roy gave him a questioning look, then wrapped his arm around the younger one's shoulders. Trying to guide him inside.

"Like us." Ed looked back to the wire one last time. The bird was there again. "No one can predict."

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**Not bad for the first drabble of the night. Yeah, so this actually happened… sorta. I was thinking of what to type and I saw a bird. Then I typed some, looked back, it was gone, and so on. Anyway, I hope you like this because I tried to make it like… deep. So… reviews? Oh, no more cookies, I'm gaining weight. Also, I'm into cupcakes now… idea? Ooo! **

**Luv, loser in the gutter**


	35. bastard

**I can't focus so I'm doing a drabble. Bah humbug.**

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Ed's breath became shaky and his legs wouldn't move. Al was waiting outside with Noa; just outside and he didn't notice. Ed noticed, but then, why wouldn't he?

"Are you alright?" The man asked again. The blonde in front of him had almost stopped breathing and wasn't responding. He waved his free hand in front of Ed's face. "HELLO?"

It wasn't really him. He was on the other side of the gate. He was safe from this hell hole. This one was just another replica. He was just a look-alike. He just… had the same look in his eyes. That look… the one he had right before he kissed Ed.

"You're a bastard." Ed hissed at the man. The man blinked, looked at the coffees in his hand, then back to Ed.

"What did I… I got your order right. Why am I a bastard?"

Ed squeezed his eyes shut and looked down, a slight smile on his face.

"Because you always give me that look, and now you're doing it, and you won't fucking kiss me." Ed whispered. He hoped the man didn't hear, really. He hoped no one heard it.

"I'm glad you haven't forgotten me."

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**Too tired to do a good ending. Oh, that was in Germany, or France, or Britain or something. Neh. Luv, loser**


	36. JAPANESE?

**Inspiration! I read, I think, I dream. WOOO! This is about something I learned today. EW…learning. ---Shivers---**

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"I think I'm turning Japanese. I think I'm turning Japanese. I really think so." Ed bobbed his head as the catchy song lyrics spilled from his mouth. Everyone knew the song. It was fun and got stuck in your head EXTREMELY easily.

So Ed went to sing it to his lover.

"ROY!" he shouted as he opened the office door. It said '_Fuhrer Mustang'_ on it, and there was a little hand written sign that read '_KnOcK_ _BeFoRe EnTeRiNg_!' That was Havoc's odd idea. He said everyone was doing letters like that. Little did he know that was in over a year ago. Anyway, Ed didn't knock, but then, he never did.

Mustang looked up from his lame paperwork to see his favorite blonde bouncing towards him. Yes, bouncing.

"What are you doing?" he asked from his desk.

"Bobbing my head and humming."

Roy sighed. "_Why,_ then?

Ed smiled. "Because…. think I'm turning Japanese. I think I'm turning Japanese. I really think so!" He sang it and unknowingly bobbed his head while doing so. This caused a smirk to appear on Roy's face. Ed's smiled faded. "What?"

"Do you know what that is referring to?" Ed shook his head and Roy stood and sat next to him on the couch. "Good…because you'd freak." He leaned to kiss Ed, who turned away.

"Why would I freak?"

"How long have you been singing that song?" Roy questioned, a slightly worried look on his face. He'd given up on the kiss.

"Since I heard it this afternoon at like…one. So for about four hours. Why?"

"You know that face you do, when we're…" Roy rolled his hands in the air. Ed gave him a skeptical look, but nodded. "Well, your eyes… go slanty and almost closed." He looked at Ed's blank face. He wasn't getting it. "You _'go Japanese',_ when you cum."

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**NO LIE!!! I was watching VH1 and they said it! But they said masturbation. Same difference. Review me and give me tea! (I have a cold…)**


	37. AIM

**AIM DRABBLE TIME!!! You don't know what AIM is? Oh well!**

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Hottstuf18: Hey u ther

---ding!---

Blondie16: yip

Hottstuf118: srry bout earlier. had a meeting

Blondie16: shoulda called me

Hottstuf18: I did ur fone was off

Blondie16: srry mustv died

Blondie16: this is stupid

Hottstuf18: is not

Blondie16: so is

Hottstuf18: y u say dat

Blondie16: cuz ur sitin nxt 2 me dipsh!t

Hottstuf18: but this is super fun

Hottstuf18: Ed

Hottstuf18: Ed!

Hottstuf18: were r u?

Hottstuf18: did u take a brb?

Hottstuf18: OMFG ED!

Blondie16 has signed off

"Party pooper."

**7777777777777777777777777777**

**Tee Hee. ---blames cold medicine---**


	38. hi

Disclaimer: I never claimed I owned anything… I swear! NOTHING!

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"Watcha doin'?"

"Paperwork."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Because I gotta."

"Why?"

"…"

"Roy?"

"Ed?"

"Huh?"

"Huh?"

"Are you mimicking me?"

"Are you mimicking me?"

"STOP IT!"

"Stop it."

"You didn't yell."

"You didn't yell." Copied Roy.

"Shup."

"…"

"…"

"What the hell is '_shup'_?"

"I was too lazy to say '_shut up'_, so I said the short version, '_shup'_, instead."

"Why?"

"Because it's easier, Bastard."

"How so?"

"I don't gotta say two syllables."

"Why?"

"Because it's only one." Answered Ed.

"What?"

"Shup."

"I've already been to the mall."

"…"

"I've already been to the mall."

"What the hell are you-"

"I've already been to the mall."

"What?"

"AND IT SUCKED!" Sang Roy.

"So… wait, what? I'm so confused."

"Shoes."

"NO NOT THAT SONG!" Ed covered his ears.

"Come on loser, we're going shopping."

"How would that be funny?"

"What?"

"OH! I got it. We can go in, try on EVERYTHING, and buy NOTHING!!! Muhuhahaha!"

"…"

"What?"

"I just discovered my nails."

"Are you cereal?"

"Lucky charms."

"Whoa."

"Yeah." Stated Roy.

"So… Watcha gonna do with all that junk?"

"What junk?"

"All that junk up in your trunk!"

"Shup, Ed!"

"J.K, J.K!"

"O.M.G., Ed, L.O.L"

"B.R.B"

"K."

"…---flush---…"

"W.B."

"What?"

"Welcome back."

"Oh. Thanks, Roy."

"Shrimp."

"Bastard."

"Shorty."

"Pervert."

"Shup."

"HA! I'm a winner."

"A wiener?"

"What?"

"Oscar Mayer."

"Huh?"

"Oh I wish I was an Oscar Mayer wiener…"

"Oh that is what I truly wish to be…" Ed joined in.

"For if I was an Oscar Mayer wiener…."

"Everyone would be in love with me!"

"My bologna has a first name." continued Roy.

"It's O-S-C-A-R!"

"My bologna has a second name."

"It's M-A-Y-E-R!"

"OOOOOOOHHHH, I love to eat it every day."

"And if you ask me why I'll SAAAYYY…..!"

"'cause Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A!" Roy spelt out.

"Boo you whore."

"WHAT?"

"Mean Girls, dumbass."

"Nobody makes me bleed my own blood."

"I didn't even touch you, Mustang."

"You can look, but touchin's gonna cost ya."

"…"

"…"

"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming."

"What?"

"It's all inside. JC Penny."

"My imaginary friend thinks you're insane, Ed."

"Yay for it, but I got bigger chickens to fry."

"Where?"

"KFC."

"...---gasp!---…"

"What?"

"THEY TORTURE THEIR CHICKENS BEFORE THEY KILL THEM BY CHOPPING OFF THEIR BEAKS AND CLIPPING THEIR WINGS OFF!"

"…Oh… I should quit."

"You work there?"

"No, I meant you."

"I work there?" Roy asked.

"No, I just…"

"What?"

"I wish I knew how to quit you!"

"…aw?"

"Hey… wanna hear a 'your mamma' joke?"

"Do I got a choice?"

"No."

"Yes."

"I said no!" yelled Ed.

"I was answering the first question!"

"OH OKAY THEN!"

"Go on with it."

"Okay… your mamma's so fat… the horse on her shirt is real."

"SHUP! ...---punches Ed---…"

"OW!!! Not nice."

"You had a spider on you."

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EEEEEWWW!"

"I got it."

"I don't believe you!" Ed cried.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why what who?"

"Huh?"

"Exactly!"

"Pies!"

"Pies?"

"Yes, bring forth the pies!"

"How many?" asked Roy.

"TWENTY THREE!"

"That's not enough for the both of us."

"But I no like even numbers…"

"…fine."

"…so…pie…?"

"DELIVER ME PIE!"

Just then, Hawkeye blasted the door down and stepped in. She glanced at the two men on the floor.

"ARE YOU HIGH?" She screamed.

"Lieutenant, I said _pie_. Please, after you fetch that, _do_ get your hearing checked."

"I got a check? What I win?" asked Ed from beside the couch.

"You got a check? Lucky little blonde."

"SHUT UP!"

"…"

"Yeah. I went there."

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**Just so we're clear, I don't support getting high. CRACK IS WHACK! But it was a good way to end this. It started out super short, but I just kept going, and going, and going with whatever was in my head. PEACE! (Hugs not drugs!)**


	39. breath

So I'm just trying this to make sure I still got it

**So I'm just trying this to make sure I still got it. If I like the end product, I'll do another chapter on When Worlds Collide. Ahh life kinda sucks right now. But I don't wanna do some angsty thing, so I'll try and be funny. And creative. **

**Wish me luck!**

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Ed opened the door to Mustang's office at 8 o'clock. Since he'd been promoted to General, (general _jackass_ to Ed), Mustang had been working late hours. This did not sit well with the blonde. So as he poked his head in, Edward suddenly grew a grin. He opened the door a little more so his whole body could get in the room, then he silently closed the door. With the grin still plastered to his face, the blonde crept up to the desk at the far end of the room.

The general was deep into a paper. So into it, in fact, that it put him right to sleep. And boy did he have a good dream. Edward was in his office, walking seductively towards him. Only once did he stop, and that was to undo his hair tie and take off his jacket. The blonde came closer and rested his elbows on the desk. His gloved hands raked through Roy's dark locks and traced his jaw.

"You wanna come home, yet?" Dream Ed asked.

"Mmm…paperwork isn't….Hawkeye…" Roy's speech was slurred as he tried to lift his head off the desk. A small pool of drool was left, which made the blonde laugh.

"Dreaming of me?" The blonde walked around the desk and turned Roy's chair towards him. Mustang was forced to look up, even though it strained his neck. Ed smiled and ran his left hand though Roy's hair.

"You're supposed to be on..." Roy yawned. "On a mission."

Ed's smiled widened. "Yeah, but I finished early. Though I'd say hi." His hand fell from the general's head. "So…bye now." He turned and walked towards the door, only to stop a few feet in front of it. He looked over his shoulder at Roy. "If you don't get your ass home soon, I might have to start without you."

Roy bit his lip. The thought of Ed alone drove him crazy, and the evil gleam in the young blonde's eye sent waves though his system. "I'll…" Roy looked at the pile of papers on his desk. It would take him a while. "I…" He looked back to Ed, who was leaning on the doorframe. "Please…I…" Roy was too tired and horny to be thinking strait.

Ed shoved off the wall and opened the door. He got his watch out of his pocket and checked the time; 8:14. He looked back to the distraught general. "One hour." He said plainly. He walked out the door and checked his watch again. 8:15. "GO!" He shouted though the wooden door.

Roy was home at 9: 17, and wouldn't stop saying sorry, even though he was out of breath. Ed didn't mind, he was just regaining his own.

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**Ahhh. Okay, so I was planning on that being funny. Then that happened, and it just flew onto the keyboard. So I like it, so I'm off to do something else so people don't murder me. PLEASE REVIEW!! I miss them. **


	40. formal

**Okay, I've been wanted to update this for a while. School's a major drag though, and I hate it. I keep having to spend all night on homework! But I digress. Just read. And review? I'm lonely in the gutter…**

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I don't think I realized I was in love with Mustang until he smiled at me. Sure, he smirked at me all the time. He laughed at me and my temper. But March 19th, he smiled at me. His eyes were brighter, and I swear the moment his lips curved the room got warmer. That was the day I was really pissed off at him.

Damn bastard always makes me forget about my anger.

Now he's across the room in his big chair, glasses on the tip of his nose, eyes scanning the papers in front of him. I told him he should just finish his work at work, not at home. He just laughed and said then I'd miss him too much. Am I that obvious?

But the fire crackles and he looks at it, the light shimmering off the glass in front of his eyes. He looks at me and smiles. I smile too, and then look down to my own reading. I read the same sentence about 12 times before I close the book. He looks up at me startled, and asks what's wrong. I can't tell him he's distracting me. I can't tell him he's all I think about. I can't tell him I love him and want to kiss him so bad it hurts.

"My book is boring."

He nods and goes back to work. Why did I agree to move in? This temptation is pushing me off the deep end. Al is off with Winry, and I get to move in with Colonel Stud. He only offered because the dorms were full. He only offered to make sure one of his dogs isn't homeless.

"Are you alright, Ed?'

"I'm not a dog, you know." My own voice surprises me. It surprises him too; he puts the papers on the table and walks over to the couch and sits next to me.

"The military is a hard life, I know. But you've got to get used to it. I thought you had, already." His voice is still harsh.

"I know. I just want you to know I won't always be your dog." We still haven't made eye contact. This is good because I think if I look at him, with him so close to me, I might just lose it.

"You've never been one to obey orders, Edward." He keeps using my name. I know he's trying to get me to look at him, but I have my eyes toward the fire.

"You can't expect me to obey every order I receive, Colonel. I have other priorities." Al. He's what I have to achieve, not getting Mustang.

"But what about your selfish wants, Ed?" His words strike a nerve and I look at him. His eyes are flashing and his glasses are off. He has a general look of concern on his face.

"Selfish? I've been selfish enough. It's time to think of others."

"Like me?" What is he getting at? Is he trying to make me burst? Even sitting this close to him makes me want to scream.

"What? Like what you want? Being fuhrer is something I can't really help out with, Mustang." He chuckles and stokes my left cheek with his right hand.

"My other wants."

Perhaps what I meant to say was that I never was in love with Mustang.

"And what would those be?"

Maybe I just wanted to say that to be less forward with my feelings.

"For a prodigy, you're pretty slow."

I meant to say I was in love with Roy.

Because '_Mustang_' is way too formal for love.

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**Lame! Ahhh. Whatever. I hope you liked it and that it will satisfy you for a bit.**


	41. eyes

They went back and forth, darting from one place to another.

I thought he was having a seizure. Guess not.

I called out his name, watching them gaze out the window.

"_The first snow of the year and I'm being forced to spend it inside." _He had complained.

Oh how I wish he was out there in the cold, probably whining about how it made his joints ache.

He used to get mad at me when i wanted to.

"_Might_ _be nice to have some company over tomorrow,_" he said. "_They say it won't be long until we have another blizzard_." It had been a horrible storm.

I called for him again. He watched the cat on his lap.

He likes it more than me now, I suppose.

Probably because it doesn't talk back.

I always talk back. He must hate me.

"_Havoc and the lieutenant have been hitting it off rather nice, don't you think?"_ No. They broke up a few months ago.

Lily, that's the cat, got off of his lap and rubbed my leg. She knows I'm lonely.

He looks at me. The first look in a while.

They're dull. That fire is gone now, along with all sense.

"_I think we should go out for dinner some time_." He picked me up and everything. I felt special.

He doesn't know it, but Gracia called for him today. She's worried.

I call for him.

They dart back and forth.

Maybe he heard me this time.

He eyes the window, watching the snow.

No, he didn't.

"_The first snow of the year, Ed. And I'm being forced to spend it inside."_

Maybe tomorrow.

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**Purposely did those weird tense mistakes. Just to freak you out. Haha. Random and a bit morbid, but its how I'm feeling as of late. What the hell is wrong with Roy? I dont know, **

**so dont ask. Just a bit of, as i said, morbid you liked it.**


	42. can't talk

**Hey hey. Here's something that i just typed in like 15 min, so it might not be the best. haha.**

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"Honestly, how could you be so… so damn irresponsible, Fullmetal? This won't be coming out of my wallet, I'll have you know. It'll be your money paying back those people to rebuild their inn. You're lucky I'm not making you go back and fix it, even though that's what you should've done while you were there."

His face was blank and his eyes just watched a piece of paper on Mustang's desk. Roy leaned foreword to look into the boys eyes, but the blonde looked away. Roy sighed and sat back in his chair to watch the teen that was in front of his desk.

"When are you going to get out of this little distraught phase, Edward? It's beginning to get on my nerves."

Ed looked up and into Mustang's eyes. They were glassy and under them were proof of lack of sleep. The blonde glared at the general.

"With all respect, sir," Ed spat. "I think I have a bit of a right to be distraught; my brother just died and I broke up with someone."

Roy bit his tongue. He knew it wasn't a good idea, but he'd done bad things before, right?

"Ed," Roy began. "You know you can talk to me about it, right?"

Ed smiled and rubbed his eyes. "Yeah, well…" He looked back to the general. "You kinda seem to be the reason for both of my problems."

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**LAME AHHHHHHHH but i digress. **


	43. sad time

It wasn't sad. It wasn't happy, either, but no one really cried. Well, not at that moment, anyway. Brother cried insanely afterward. He tried to conceal his tears by letting them fall in the shower. I heard them anyway.

It wasn't sad. Amy cried when I asked her to marry me, but she said it was because she was so happy. I was married at age 19. Ed was drunk at my wedding. He never told me why. He was 24, he said, so why not get wasted?

It wasn't sad. That's what the doctor told me. Amy just wasn't able to carry children full term. We could never have children. Amy sulked for months. Ed told her he'd never have children either. She didn't ask why; somehow, she just knew.

It broke my heart the day Ed died. He had written down everything. Everything he'd meant to tell me, everything he meant to tell General Mustang back home. He said he thought I'd hate him. I don't.

Three days after Brother's funeral, a man knocked at the door. He said he knew me and Ed. I took one look at him and slammed the door.

Roy Mustang had the _worst _timing.


	44. sunsets

**Okay. Soooo… it's been a while, hasn't it? Based upon a nice review, I've decided to end this drabble series. Yes, I know; tragic. But I figured if I want to do drabbles, I can do another series. How many is this one anyway, like 85? And one shots will become their own stories. Super fun. So here's the last installment of this series… SUNSETS.**

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"Bastard. You know I hate gushy stuff. Why do we have to talk about this?"

"What color is the sky, Edward?"

"You first."

"Orange."

"Really? I'd say more of a… I don't know… tangerine color."

"Tangerines are orange."

"But it's more specific."

"Bastard." Ed put his head on the other man's shoulder. Mustang smiled and lifted his arm and put it around the little alchemist. He sighed.

"You know, we should really go back to the party."

"Screw the party." Ed said with a small yawn. "I don't wanna sit in there with all those pricks and have to be all fancy. 'Why yes sir, I _did _enjoy the horse race today. Jolly good show, old sport.' No thank you."

Roy laughed. "What kind of accent was that? Besides," he pulled the blonde closer. "If we spend all night outside, you'll be too tired to spend the night inside."

Ed blushed. "_British_, Pervert. Anyway, I'd much rather be out here." He shivered a bit and scooted his body closer to Roy's.

"Out here in the cold?" the older asked. "Honestly Edward, if we sit out here for very much longer you're going to catch a cold. Do you remember the last time you had a cold?"

The blonde lifted his head and looked Roy in the eyes. "Yes I do. You took three days off work and spent them in bed with me, getting me soup, rubbing my back… it was quite enjoyable, actually." He smiled and looked forward. "Besides, isn't this worth it? It's so beautiful."

"Yeah," Roy agreed, looking at the excited alchemist. "It is."

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**End. Ahh it was sooo short! im sorry!! **

**yeah it got cheesy, but sometimes things happen to get that way in drabbles. Peace, yo!**


End file.
